Positive Steps
Sadhbh Dunne
Our lives are filled with an array of decisions dragging us in conflicting directions almost every day.
Some decisions are so seemingly inconsequential that we may not even recognise or categorise them as choices. For instance, your breakfast habits may be carried out on autopilot in the morning. When frequently done, some of the basic decisions involved in eating and getting dressed become automatic as they build their way into some type of a routine.
For the most part, these smaller decisions typically don’t take up too much brain space or thinking time. However. from time to time you might have big and important decisions to make regarding your job, family or relationships. If you’ve caught yourself facing a junction and not knowing which road to follow, the following might help.
The fear factor
When big decisions come knocking at your door, they can sometimes feel like an impossible task. If the stakes are high, there may be a long list of pros and cons to work through, which in itself can cause overwhelm. When life-changing power is attached to a decision, is it any wonder that it can feel terrifying?
A lot of people believe they’re bad at making important choices. As a result of this, the default may be to avoid or ignore them, pushing them out of mind. If you’ve ever sat mulling something over, hoping the best decision for you would become obvious, you’re not on your own.
As time ticks on and a decision deadline looms, real uncertainty can creep in. If having to make bigger decisions is an unusual affair for you, these types of decisions become more challenging. If you lack expertise or experience in the area, the anxiety surrounding this can slow you down and lead to an overly cautious approach. Fear of making a wrong one has a huge effect on your perceived capabilities and can act as a deterrent.
To combat feelings of fear, make sure to ask yourself useful questions. These might include the following: What options are available? What impact will this decision have on other areas of your life? How will you handle the outcomes or consequences – desired and undesired? What are you saying no to?
Trusting your instinct and intuition is also critical and can go a long way when it comes to working out the direction that feels best for you.
Power
If you find you still have some reservations about which road to follow after going through these steps, know that there are actually some positives to indecision. For example, pausing to think gives you additional valuable time to reflect on the facts available to you and perhaps gather some more information. This could give you the opportunity to thoroughly explore all aspects of your options at a deep level.
However, there is a balance to strike. If you dwell for too long there’s a chance that the decision may become even harder for you to make. And, of course, if you stay in an indecisive state for too long, you may miss the opportunity to actually make your choice. What a shame that would be.
Try to remember, there is no such thing – unfortunately, or maybe fortunately – as the perfect decision. No choice is made in a vacuum. Rather, there is only the best choice for you at this moment in time, based on the information you have access to and your thoughts and feelings. Knowledge of this places the power back to your hands in a gentle, positive way, helping to make the decision less frightening.
Sadhbh Dunne is a qualified life coach based in Westport. She is the founder of Ember Coaching (embercoaching.ie) and can be reached at sadhbh@embercoaching.ie.
This article originally appeared on www.mayonews.ie